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Spring is a unique time of year. The sky is more blue, the grass is more green. But, unfortunately, women are just a little more pink. I have noticed that, for some reason, women are compelled to wear an atrocious amount of pink as soon as the temperature reaches 60 degrees. It’s like some sort of wack instinct or migration pattern. I admit that I’m a little biased, because I really hate pink. But I just can’t stand this anymore. There is such a thing as too much pink.

Pink, like all things, should be used in moderation.

This Gap top is nice. Yes, it is quite pink. But, it’s not the obnoxious, light pink that is typically reserved for nurseries and Easter candy. The tie at the waist gives it a nice shape, and it’s cool and breezy for summer.

Now, let’s take a look at a BIG NO-NO:

For the love of all things good and holy, never–EVER–wear these. I don’t care what season it is. I will be the first to admit that I own a pair of Uggs. BUT, mine are tan, and I only wear them as slippers with sweatpants. You might as well draw whiskers and floppy ears on these, because they look like severed bunny footie pajamas.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love me some Elle Woods. She was pink and fabulous.

But, keep this in mind: being female does not mean that you have to dye everything in your closet to match a box a Peeps. I mean, for God’s sake, at the rate we’re going, why not just tie an apron over our eyes, stick some oven mits atop our manicured hands and send us back into the kitchen where we belong?

Ciao.

These are ugly. I wish people would stop wearing them.

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I understand that some people still aren’t over the whole cowboy boots thing, which is fine. Sometimes it takes a while to let go. But all things in moderation, people. Rain boots and cowboy boots are not supposed to mix. They come from different worlds.

I feel about these boots the same way I feel about peanut butter flavored ice cream: it’s not right. Ice cream is sweet. Peanut butter is salty. Ice cream is cold. Peanut butter is room temperature. Who had the bright idea to mix those two properties?

I blame the drought on people who wear boots like these. Stop disturbing the rain gods.

GBF wears short shorts! Actually… that’s not true. I don’t wear shorts. I used to wear shorts. But I also used to think Britney Spears was a wholesome role model, Pluto was a planet and Duke was a respectable institution of higher learning.

And those sentiments are obviously shot to hell.

But, the more I shop, the more I notice all the spring collections rolling in. And most of you out there do wear shorts. So, let’s talk about ’em!

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I’ll be honest with you, boys and girls. I can’t stand J. Crew. Really. Every time I see it, I’m bombarded with images of pastel colored frat stars dancing in my head.

But, I will hand it to you, J. Crew. These ain’t half bad. They’re a good way to wear short shorts without being– er — inappropriate. They’re definitely classy, and they come in lots and lots of bright, summery colors.

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I know, I know. These Urban Outfitters high-waisted shorts are a little daring. But if you feel like breaking down all denim shorts barriers, these are the way to go. And if you have a little tummy problem, the high waistline does wonders. But, they also work if you have a teeny tiny waist and a big booty. They highlight all the right places. Ooo la la.

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Bermuda, Bahama, come on, pretty mamma. If short shorts aren’t for you, you can still let a little leg show with Bermuda shorts. This American Eagle pair is perfect. They should hit you just above the knee so they don’t fall into capri pant territory. And the best part? You won’t constantly be pulling them down so that your thighs don’t rub together (ouch).

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If you can wear these American Apparel hot shorts and pull them off, I will seriously consider bulldozing my house and building a monument to you in its place. Honestly. I’m not worthy. I saw them in an Am App store this week, and I was sick with jealousy of all of those who can rock them. So, please. If you can wear them, e-mail me a picture and you will be the new GBF star.

All hail.

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Eve Carson was not just UNC’s student body president. She was a close friend to many and a dearly loved member of the University community. She will be greatly missed. Rest in peace, Eve.

So, a few things about this month’s issue of Vogue:

No. 1: You owe me $3,000 in hospital bills, Anna Wintour. When I tried to pull my copy out of my mailbox, I severely injured both arms. Whether it’s a break or a severe fracture is debatable. But the doctors think I’m going to make it into a few medical journals. The point is, that thing was RIDICULOUSLY heavy. Three inches is far too thick for a “magazine.”

No. 2: Drew Barrymore: what… are… you… doing. She looks like a, like a… I don’t even know. Why don’t you guys take a look:

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Here is my problem with this photograph: Drew Barrymore looks like a classic beauty.

And she’s not.

But before you say that I’m an evil person with unfair definitions of beauty, let me say that i think Drew Barrymore is absolutely gorgeous. But I think she has a unique beauty that is all her own. She has a fun, spunky quality about her that makes her sexy and different.

So, Drew, what’s the deal? Why are you trying to be something you’re not? Let’s take a look back into August 2007, the last time Drew graced the cover of Vogue.

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She looks NOTHING like she does now! Excuse the ungodly amount of exclamation points and capitalization I’ve employed in this post, but I just can’t get over this. It’s not even like August 2007 was a long time ago. Perhaps you think you’re being crafty and pulling one over on the silly readers of American Vogue. Oh, Anna, you’re so sneaky with your Photoshopping abilities.

Way to be a role model, Drew. I think I’ll go out and lose 45 pounds, have my face lifted and get a boob job. Now let that fester in your conscience.

Here’s a little something from one of the best:

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“I love fashion, but I think it should stay in its place, not rule your life. It’s a very nice part of your life, but I think it should be fun.”
-Miuccia Prada

… he’s just so cute! I don’t care if actor Anton Yelchin is barely 18-years-old.

I saw Charlie Bartlett this weekend, and let me say this first and foremost: it was AWESOME. Hilarious, witty, fresh and full of the over-prescription and misuse of potentially dangerous drugs. Everything I look for in a movie.

And, of course, fantastic attire.

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I wish I looked that cute while sitting, fully clothed, on the grimy seat of an underfunded public school toilet. It probably would have made the memories of my high school experience far more nostalgic.

But, the point is, Charlie looks really good. Although he starts out in a dweeby, private school uniform complete with an embroidered crest and Latin inscription, he turns his outfit into something hip and fresh. Without the dorky patch, you have a sleek-but-casual sports coat with a funky, original T-shirt.

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OK, try to look past the overly tattooed arms…

This Urban Outfitters T-shirt is an excellent option. The bright colors pop out and offset the drab navy blue sports coat. Want to be even more hip and avant-garde? (Yes, Abbey, yes I do! Please tell us how!) Pair this outfit with some old school Chuck Taylors.

It also helps if you’re a badass 17-year-old with access to a limousine and prescription pills.

There’s a certain level of discretion to be taken when dressing your children. Now, I don’t have kids or anything, but this seems like it should really be a commonly known fact. I used to keep my fingers crossed for my older sister to outgrow her Care Bears spandex when I was a kid, so I sure as hell wasn’t wearin’ no Chanel. I think my mother would have let me go to preschool naked before she sent me in couture.

Now, Angelina Jolie, on the other hand…

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This was taken a while ago, but I think it’s an issue that needs to be addressed. Zahara is a cute kid, really. She’s totally got that whole my-parents-are-Brad-Pitt-and-Angelina-Jolie thing going on, which means that she has already secured herself as cooler (and God knows richer) than all of us for the rest of her life.

So, can someone tell me why her mother (who, by the way, is well-known for making out with her brother on the red carpet and wearing a vial of blood around her neck) feels the need to supplement her child’s adorable-ness with a Valentino bag? Yes, Angelina, we get that you’re super rich and super fabulous. And trust me, if I was worth bizillions, I’d probably use Valentino toilet paper.

But, your kid is TWO-YEARS-OLD if that, Angie. She doesn’t know the difference between Valentino and Goodwill. Take advantage of that while you still can.

Now, this is what I’m talkin’ about:

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If my child is half that cute and fabulous, I’ll consider mine a job well done. I stumbled upon this little cowgirl in Urban Outfitters at South Point a couple of weeks ago, and believe me, she was ready to have her photo taken.

Hm, a Carolina blue fleece, houndstooth skirt and cowboy boots? A daring move, young lady, but I applaud thee. I wouldn’t have thought to combine the three, but you’ve done a fantastic job, if I do say so myself. And I highly doubt that ensemble broke her p-rents’ bank.

If I recall, I once went to school in a white and gold tutu and roller skates.

I’m pretty sure they were hand-me-downs.

Hola, GBF! Check out this fashion piece that was published in online for The Daily Tar Heel’s Year in Review edition… plus pretty, pretty pictures, of course.

By: Abbey Caldwell, Staff Writer

Though the year 2007 didn’t bring the return of acid wash jeans, shoulder pads and parachute pants, it might as well have.

The world of fashion saw a few equally shocking premiers in 2007.

Revered American designer Isaac Mizrahi broke ground when he put one foot in the upscale department store Neiman Marcus and the other in Target stores less than five years ago, but this year proved that he isn’t the only fashion A-lister who can appeal to the moderately priced masses.

Vera Wang prompted the jaw drop heard ’round the world when she brought her Simply Vera line to Kohl’s, and Roberto Cavalli set off endless lines of eager shoppers awaiting the debut of his low-priced line for H&M.

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But a heavier wallet wasn’t the only shock endured by fashion enthusiasts last year.

Ladies packed away their dainty summer dresses and opted for a fall look of vests, baggy pants and masculine hats a la “Annie Hall.”

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And low-riding jeans became an endangered species when the high-waisted look became a staple for the fall season.

But if muted colors, tuxedo vests and Oxford shoes weren’t your style in ’07, bright colors and bold statements were equally chic.

English designer Henry Holland popularized neon-colored T-shirts that took young hearts by storm with rhyming slogans audaciously referencing fashion industry insiders.

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Holland’s signature catch phrases like “Get yer freak on Giles Deacon,” which pays homage to the London-born designer, caught on quickly and were eventually given a new, less expensive spin when imitated by labels such as Forever 21.

But one trend that made a comeback for almost every label was simple: hats.

Bad hair days everywhere tipped their newfound saviors to the likes of fedoras and even turbans, the latter thanks to the innovative designs of Prada.

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And just when we thought that white socks worn with no pants and a simple pair of briefs went out of style – it did.

But the Ray-Ban Wayfarer sunglasses once worn by Tom Cruise in “Risky Business” and Audrey Hepburn in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s,” and further popularized by Andy Warhol and Bob Dylan, reached another peak of popularity in 2007.

Now a staple to everyone from the New York City Lower East Side hipster to the UNC fraternity court resident, the Wayfarer style has become as recognizable as the stars who pioneered it.

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Even though acid wash jeans and shoulder pads are more than likely piled into boxes at a flea market where they belong, the respective shocks of 2007 have created quite a challenge.

Top that, 2008.

Contact the Features Editor at features@unc.edu

Dear GBF:

You suck. Why haven’t you posted in weeks? You’re dead to me.

Sincerely,

Everyone.

Dear Everyone:

Please take me back. I just don’t know what happened. You know how the holidays are. But, there are no excuses. I promise I will do everything I can to change my ways… starting with the next post!

Cheers,

GBF